There is no getting there. You're already there.

Life update, along with a bit of my thoughts on the role meditation can play in our crazy world and a rant about technology.

This September I made a decision to step away from my remote software job. I had been working towards becoming a digital nomad for nearly 2 years so that I could sustainably do what I love: see the world. Having the ability to explore the nooks of the world with no return date hovering at the back of my mind is how I imagine freedom looks like, it was and still is a dream of mine. So, this summer I finally reached the goal I had set for myself, pack the bags and go, right? That was the plan, I was scouting for apartments in different parts of South America and looking forward to the adventure ahead (and escaping the prairie winter). However, several months later I had a brief experience which acted as quite the wakeup call, a reality check, maybe I’ll write about this in the future. In short, it forced me to realize that when we’re chasing the light at the end of the tunnel, we’re not experiencing the potential light that is all around and within us. I realized I had spent most of my adult life running, if not sprinting, through this dark tunnel, always thinking about the future instead of enjoying and appreciating where I’m at. I decided that this was an aspect of my life that I needed to address before I continue down this same path I’ve been running on. I needed to slow down. Unfortunately a fast paced tech job was not the place I could see myself doing this. So, with an extremely supportive network of family and friends I was able to quit my job and start mending an area of my life I had long neglected: myself. I know very well that this is a privilege many of us are unable to take due to any number of reasons and I’m very grateful for it.

By far one of the best tools I’ve started to use has been meditation. For years i’ve been fascinated by the mystery of human consciousness, and mediation has acted as a gateway to explore the depths of this mystery better than any book on the subject could. Quitting your job to take time to ‘find yourself’ can often be looked at as some hippie dippy BS, but I believe this concept has roots based in Neuroscience more so than some vauge philosophy or faith, and I believe it’s what Buddhism has been teaching for the past 2,500 years. Buddhism is quite unique among other religions in the sense that it seems to act as an empirical guide to understanding ourselves, rather than the telling of elaborate stories that I believe are meant to portray the same concepts of universal and unconditional love (for ourselves and therefore others) in a less attainable way. The difference is that buddhism doesn’t require faith in anyone but yourself, if you practice what it teaches, you yourself will experience the ‘light’, rather than relying on your faith in the ‘light’.

Meditation is one of the core practices of Buddhism. When we learn to live in the present moment through this practice, we obtain a state of relaxation that is becoming ever more elusive. When we first start practicing this relaxation technique, our mind is loud, it’s yelling at you to not slow down, to keep moving towards the next thing! Many of our brains have been wired this way from a young age. This can be extremely frustrating and demoralizing as it feels like we’re not even capable of 5 seconds of peace and quiet in our heads. This is where lessons in mindfulness can come in handy. It teaches you to see these distracting thoughts as neither negative or positive, they just are, and you are there to observe and be aware them. Much like a person lifting weights at the gym, they don’t get frustrated at the weights being heavy, they’re simply there to help you train, and eventually those same weights won’t feel so heavy, you’ll be able to control them with ease instead of struggle. Your mind will quiet down with a short amount of practice, as little as a few minutes a day can make a huge difference, the key is consistency.

While it’s important to be present, this isn’t to say that we should never think about the future and set goals. Goals are necessary to attain whatever it is you want in life, but if you aren’t ever living in the present moment with yourself and are simply putting in the motions to reach a future objective, you might find yourself reaching that objective and being left with the same sense of emptiness and depression that you had on the road to that objective. I don’t believe this issue is uncommon, we live in world that never seems to slow down or take pause, which in my opinion we can largely attribute to technology’s exponential growth. Moore’s Law states that the overall processing power for computers will double every two years, while the cost of said technology is cut in half. We may reach the physical limit of this law in the coming decade, but there’s no reason to think quantum computing won’t fill this space for advancement in the near future, and make the world even more fast and ‘efficient’ than we could ever imagine, stripping us humans of even more jobs and leaving us searching for meaning. Needless to say, the world is moving pretty damn fast, faster than we have ever had to keep up with in human history.

I think it’s no surprise that as the world speeds up, depression rises with it, disproportionately effecting those who have been subjected to the flow of technology from a younger age, where it has more of a chance to become an integral part of your life. If we don’t find effective ways to take back control of our minds, this trend will surely continue at a rapid pace. Meditation can be a powerful, natural tool to take back this control of our minds. As I’ve become more consistent with my practice, It has helped calm my mind, learn to appreciate things with a more positive outlook, be more creative, and learn more about myself than I’ve thought was possible. I’m convinced that if we want to truly succeed in life, whatever success looks like to you, we must start by learning to be content and happy with ourselves in the current moment, being kind to ourselves, whether that’s through meditation or whatever else, because the present is the only moment that’s real. The past and the future do not exist, so why give them so much control over our thoughts, especially if they’re generating a negative mindset, hindering us from reaching our potential?

Wrapping up! Currently, I’m more at peace with myself and my place in the universe than ever before, and paradoxically I’m more unsure of the future than ever before, but I’m content with that. It’s been an incredible journey so far. My savings are running low, but before I jump back into the work force I’ll be dedicating 10 days between November 14-24th to learn about an old meditation technique called Vipassana, taught since the days of Buddha, 2,500 years ago. 10 days of no talking, no phone, no books, no distractions, and definitely no Kool-Aid if they offer me any. I’m filled with a sense of excitement and nerves.. nervous-excitement? I’ll be sure to write about my experience with this 10 day ‘introduction’ course when I come back to civilization.

Thanks for reading. Love you all,

— Wes